By Jessica Young, Featured Writer.

There is much to be said in present day literature for acknowledging, tending to, and healing our inner child.

Human beings undergo extensive development through their lifetime, each stage and experience can emphasise the importance of our childhood, and the influence of the processes and experiences we go through during this time.

As we transition through to adulthood, it can be easy to forget that we were once such malleable, sensitive and fragile beings. The squidgy caterpillar before the butterfly as it were. However, our inner child is not limited to a developmental phase that we pass by, arguably it is one of the foundation blocks at our very core, from which we blossom out of and construct ourselves upon. Work by Ainsworth and Bowlby highlights how our attachment experiences and styles from infant relationships, form the basis for our relationship models in later life (Cherry, 2019). Just one example of the footprint that our childhood leaves.

So, we may all have an inner child at our core; or at least the leftover frameworks and structures from our childhood experiences.

How often do you check-in with this inner version of yourself?

When we check-in with ourselves, or think of ways to engage with our wellbeing, it can be a minefield in terms of choice. Do we try mindfulness? Do we try exercising? Do we try planning and structuring? There are so many wonderful choices for us to explore.

Though, I have heard that one of the most helpful therapist feedback questions proposed is “What would you do for your child?” , (in response to pondering ways to nurture one’s wellbeing and engage with positive activities). If your child was upset, bored, lonely, low, what would you do for/with them?  It is a simple question, and a beautiful one. It could also be re-framed to “what would you do as a child?”, which could be approached literally or imaginatively.

Pondering that question can be warming to the soul from the offset. Flooding back memories with children you know, childhood memories of your own, childhood wishes of your own; they enter our conscious mind again, bringing radiance.

Of course, the past is not always a place that individuals feel safe to delve into and everybody’s experiences are unique in that sense. Though, if you take a moment to re-frame the question in a manner that is approachable for yourself, what comes to mind? What does your inner child speak to you?

Video Games: the ongoing debate indicates potential positives

A controversial topic over the years, though recent research indicates that far from the popular media titles –’Games consoles causes murdering children and demonic teenagers’ – video games may have a beneficial association with well-being. A triumphant cheer from the inner-child as we are victorious over our parent’s previous campaigns to limit gaming time. There is a lack of reliable research to support the stark criticism of video gaming, as highlighted by Johannes et al (2020). In contrast, Johannes et al (2020), has indicated a potential positive association between time spent playing video games and our well-being. Though, this inference only refers to the study of two games at present, with a small sample. However, it indicates how engaging with an activity that we may associate with our children, or past selves, could boost our wellbeing in the present moment.

Where is that dusty console?

Nostalgia: despite a troubled past, the construct appears to offer us some sweetness

As a concept, nostalgia has undergone much change in terms of how it is classified and understood; from a medical diagnosis, to a bittersweet psychological construct (Batcho, 2013). Outlined by Hepper et al (2020),  as a “self-relevant and social emotion that arises from reflecting on fond and meaningful autobiographical memories”.

Arguably, when we engage with activities from our childhood (TV shows, films, etc.), we engage in some form of nostalgic experience. This may in part contribute to the positive associations of engaging with our inner child. Recent research by Hepper et al (2013), highlights nostalgia as a potential tool across adulthood; providing a buffer against limited time (an infringement upon our wellbeing), to maintain and bolster higher levels of psychological wellbeing. This sample was based upon a wider age range of community adults, though quantified measures of wellbeing do limit the depth of understanding the individual experiences.

Picture your child, yourself, what past activity brings a smile?

When we look around for ways to boost our wellbeing, or to cope with mental health experiences, it can be daunting. There are so many therapeutic approaches now (a welcomed advancement of the mental health area), and many wellbeing models and activities to engage with.

Though, sometimes it is the amount of choice that can be a little paralyzing when it comes to choosing what to do right now to make ourselves feel a little uplifted.

So, as a suggestion, stop and ask yourself “what would I do for my child/as a child?”, use that as a starting block to navigate the actions we can take for our wellbeing. Structure in some time to check-in with and appease your inner child, have fun with it! Not just for the nostalgia, but for the benefits it can have for your wellbeing.

Use the handout below to open the conversation with yourself and reconnect with your inner child.