Reorienting the Empath’s Compass

Avoiding Burnout and Turning Towards the Light

By Featured Writer, Belinda Bennetts.

There are people who feel the world deeply. Their inner compass swings with every emotion around them, pointing towards sorrow, joy, and the subtle in-betweenness of human experience. They pick up on the atmosphere in a room, sense another’s grief before a word is uttered, and carry the unspoken burdens of friends and strangers. These are often the people who describe themselves as empaths.

At the heart of this lies what psychology calls affective empathy, being the ability to feel another’s emotions as though they were one’s own (Nitschke and Bartz, 2023). It differs from its counterpart, cognitive empathy, which relates to understanding another’s perspective from an intellectual standpoint. Where affective empathy is about feeling with someone and engaging the heart, cognitive empathy is about thinking with someone through engaging the mind. Both have value, but affective empathy brings a particular kind of intensity as it arises from the amygdala, our emotional alarm system. When activated, the amygdala sparks a cascade of pathways in the brain, connecting memories, emotions, and survival responses (Nitschke and Bartz, 2023). For empaths, this intensity can be both a gift and a curse.

The Double-Edged Compass

At its best, affective empathy allows for profound connection. It fuels compassion, nurtures deep relationships, and brings a sensitivity to beauty and suffering alike. But it can also lead to overwhelm. Over time, the empath’s emotional compass can wobble, tilting towards others so much that they lose connection with their own feelings and sense of self. The world becomes heavy inside, and the line between external and internal blurs. When this happens, an empath can be left feeling burnt out.

For some, leaning towards others’ pain begins in childhood, when the amygdala and other emotional centres are busy wiring patterns of response like learning what keeps us safe and how to read the room. Experiences such as caring for a parent or carrying responsibilities beyond one’s years can tilt empathy outwards before a child has set the foundations of their inner compass. In such cases, affective empathy becomes finely tuned to others at the cost of recognising and tending to one’s own needs.

Single experiences may also be influential. For example, when I was about seven years old, I saw a blind woman sitting on the pavement begging. To this day, I can recall each detail. The rusty metal bowl she held up. The sound of the coins as she shook it. The brown blanket over her legs with bare feet sticking out, and her young child sitting beside her. I can recall the overwhelming sense of sadness I felt. As a child, it haunted me for days.

Whatever way one’s compass has been influenced, the invitation in later life is to reset it so it points not only towards others’ struggles but also towards self-awareness, compassion, joy, and balance.

Learning to See Differently

One of the most effective ways to guide the empath’s compass is through reappraisal. This is an emotion regulation technique that allows a person to adjust the way they interpret or frame a situation, changing its emotional impact. Imagine a friend is going through a crisis. Without reappraisal, an empath might immediately absorb the despair, sinking under its weight. With reappraisal, they might think, ‘I can be present and supportive without carrying this as my own.’

Reappraisal is like gently nudging the compass back on course. It helps empaths hold space for others while remaining connected to themselves. Studies show that those who use reappraisal naturally experience less emotional overwhelm and more positive feelings, offering a buffer against burnout for people high in affective empathy (Power, 2018).

When the Compass Spins

Reappraisal, however, requires energy. When someone is already stressed or burnt out, their compass spins wildly, and the ability to step back and see differently becomes elusive. Overwhelm narrows focus, and empaths may feel cut off from their emotions while still sensing the pain of others. It is like trying to steer a ship with torn sails, buffeted by currents that pull in every direction.

This is why burnout is so insidious. The very sensitivity that allows empaths to connect deeply can also leave them depleted, disoriented, and unable to reorient themselves (Nitschke and Bartz, 2023).

Creating Space to Reorient

How do we reorient when the compass tilts too far outwards? The answer is space. Not avoidance, but deliberate breathing room to reconnect with oneself. Time in nature, be it walking in the woods or listening to the rhythm of waves along the shore, provides much-needed grounding and soothes the central nervous system. Creative outlets can also be effective, such as painting, writing, or singing.

Simple daily practices like journaling, meditation, or even taking regular breaks to simply “be,” act as calibration points. They remind empaths where their own feelings begin and where others’ end. They steady the compass so it can point reliably, without being pulled solely by external currents.

Coming Home to Joy

Perhaps the most overlooked gift of being an empath is the ability to feel joy as deeply as sorrow. When grounded and balanced, empaths can deliberately turn their compass towards wonder and delight. They can notice the warmth of sunlight on their skin and the laughter of a child. They can feel their innate creativity stirring and be inspired to express it.

Being an empath is not about fixing others or carrying the weight of the world. It is about connection and compassion, for others and for oneself. To learn the art of turning inward as well as outward is to flourish, and this is possible through deliberate engagement in spaces and practices that restore equanimity.

By consciously orienting towards positive feelings, empaths reclaim choice over the direction of their compass, something they may not ever remember having had. This choice gives the gift of autonomy, where the empath can step into balance and embrace the full spectrum of experience. In this capacity, the external world can be navigated with intention, and the tapestry of the inner world can flourish. And that is a gift indeed.

 References

Nitschke, J.P. and Bartz, J.A. (2023) ‘The association between acute stress & empathy: A systematic literature review’, Neuroscience and biobehavioural reviews, 144. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1016/j.neubiorev.2022.105003.

Powell, P.A. (2018) ‘Individual differences in emotion regulation moderate the associations between empathy and affective distress’, Motivation and emotion, 42(4), pp. 602–613. Available at: https://doi.org/10.1007/s11031-018-9684-4.