Self care? I don’t have time for that.

I’m guilty of trying to do self-care the “right way.” If I couldn’t meditate for twenty minutes, then I wouldn’t bother doing it at all. If I couldn’t do an hour at the gym, I’d wait for the day I could find that hour. Spoiler alert: it rarely happened.

By Featured Writer, Roxie Key.

When was the last time you put yourself on your to-do list?

Run a quick search for ‘self-care checklist,’ and you’ll find pages upon pages of well-meaning tips and routines, just like this one…

1. Do your morning stretches;

2. Eat three healthy meals;

3. Enjoy twenty minutes of meditation;

4. Participate in a one-hour yoga class;

5. Phone your parents;

6. Fill out a gratitude journal;

7. Have a long bubble bath;

8. Get eight solid hours of sleep.

I don’t know about you, but just looking at that list makes me feel exhausted. And it makes me wonder where on earth it’s all going to fit in, alongside working, parenting, keeping the house in some sort of order (and sending my Vinted parcels on time).

I think we all know we need to “do more self-care” and lots of us make attempts at it every now and then. It’s easy to sign up for a weekly yoga class, buy a gratitude journal, or download a meditation app.

The hard part is the doing.

And the hardest part?

Continuing to do it.

I’m guilty of trying to do self-care the “right way.” If I couldn’t meditate for twenty minutes, then I wouldn’t bother doing it at all. If I couldn’t commit to writing something profound in a beautiful gratitude journal every single day, then what was the point in ever doing it? If I couldn’t do an hour at the gym, I’d wait for the day I could find that hour. Spoiler alert: it rarely happened.

When I lost my job last June, I very quickly spiralled. I took on a cleaning job, and marketed the hell out of myself as a freelance copywriter. I applied for every job going, even if I hated the sound of it. Every spare minute of my day was spent trawling through LinkedIn for jobs or emailing out my CV.

I was definitely not self-care-ing.

But I knew something had to change. I couldn’t keep racing through my days, finally stopping to wind down to read (i.e., scroll Instagram at 11pm), then pick up a book half an hour later but be too tired to read it.

It had to stop.

In the end, I decided to take the ‘little and often’ approach.

I crafted a new self-care to do list. A better self-care to-do list, full of tiny, achievable goals for each day. Little reminders to look after myself, that take barely any time at all, and knowing I’m making my mind and body a tiny bit happier as a result, feel pretty good.

My list looks a little like this…

1. Drink some water;

2. Take 3 deep breaths;

3. Do 10 jumping jacks;

4. Name one thing I did well today;

5. Do one thing that makes me happy;

6. Eat a piece of fruit;

7. Eat a meal without my phone or TV;

8. Listen to soothing music at bedtime;

9. Compliment someone;

10. Text a friend;

11. Put one thing away;

12. Take my vitamins.

You get the gist. I know it’s not an epic list that’s going to make me the healthiest person alive, but each small win spurs me on to do another. I find that when I’m bored or need a break, instead of reaching for my phone to scroll mindlessly through social media, I start ticking things off my self-care to-do list instead. If you’re like me and you get a kick out of ticking stuff off a list, you’re going to love this approach.

Would you try this? It doesn’t matter if you use a pen and paper, your phone notes, or a self-care app (I use Finch), as long as you can tick or cross off every mini achievement.

Because mini achievements add up to big ones, and that’s what’s going to make the difference in our crazy, busy lives.